2017 the way i saw it.

January 1, 2018


10 shows that summarize my 2017:

  1. Wonder Woman: women are indeed bad ass. in 2017 i made a movie and it is going to turn out god damn amazing. our crew was 85% female including a female DP, writer, producer and director. oh and did i say it looks incredible? Wonder Woman better watch out.
  2. Get Out: 2017 took some major steps backward but there is a movement of people that see it and know it and are going to be the ones to eventually change it. we have been stuck in several ways for one too many years, but change is inevitable. at the very least, we have to start and continue talking about it. all of it.
  3. The Last Jedi: eventually we all grow up. we all live, we all love, we all die. it all comes in waves. it all comes back around. sometimes exactly what we thought would happen…. doesn’t. and sometimes right when we think it’s over, it’s all just starting over again. life is incredible.
  4. Baby Driver: everyone has something inside that drives them. when in doubt and everyone is an asshole, find that spark and turn it up, make it the soundtrack to your life. if that isn’t the key to happiness it’s for sure the key to being great at faking it.
  5. The Handmaid’s Tale: some might call 2017… difficult. i call it a Dumpster Fire. but even in the greatest of shit storms, we connect, we breathe, we rebel, we love, we fight.
  6. MindHunter: sometimes your passions change you, for better or for worse. 2017 was a year where i was forced to let go of some of my passions, for better or for worse. changing whole parts of your identity and ego is pure pain… but when you come out the other side all it ever was, was just change. always for the better.
  7. Wormwood: finding the truth is harder than you might imagine. 2017 taught me that it is utterly impossible to get the answer to everything i want to know. truth is a fickle thing; it depends on who is voicing it. ultimately truth seekers are my people. but i think it’s worth noting that the phrase truth is an illusion didn’t just spring up out of nowhere and Nietzsche ain’t no dummy.
  8. Guardians of the Galaxy – Volume 2: i love that there are things you just know are going to be great. or at least really, really fucking fun. thank god for predictability where we can get it.
  9. Wind River: a little positivity never hurt nobody. a lot of personal bad shit happened in 2017 but i have always woken up choosing positivity and hope, because what else is there? this movie reflects the incredibly fucked up world we live in and that sometimes there are good people and sometimes good people win and sometimes we get an ounce of closure. and a little closure never hurt nobody.
  10. The Leftovers (finale): everything must come to an end ~ especially the good. learning to let go has been my greatest life lesson of 2017. without letting go there is no present, only what has already taken place or the fantasy of what might be. i balled at this show’s finale, for more reasons than i can count. i even had to let go of the idea of theme music. thank you, Tom Perrotta, thank you. and thank you, 2017.

truth or dare.

July 30, 2017


10 truths we all Know but don’t want to Admit:

Truth #1: Pinocchio. [we aren’t that good at lying. but people pretend right along with us. and then sometimes ~ if they know us well ~ they’re playing along to get us to admit to the lie. or sometimes we all play the game together with silent understanding. do we think this makes life easier or more challenging? whatever the reason, it’s true.]

Truth #2: Fantasy Island. [the story in our head never turns out to be reality. i envision every important scenario in my life and how it will most likely turn out. this takes great over-thinking. careful attempts to be unbiased and get the most logical possible picture. not once has this vision been even remotely accurate. i’m even terrible at predicting winners of the Bachelor. clearly, this is not my forte. but we all do this, it’s true.]

Truth #3: Show & Tell. [no one wants to see all of our photos. we know it and yet it’s such a strong need to show, show, show! and even when our friend or loved one looks like they are positively watching paint dry, we keep on showing. it’s an addiction ~ a moving train that’s going way too fast to ditch. and don’t get me started on our playlists. you know, it’s true.]

Truth #4: Hide & Seek. [we all live with at least one shame from childhood. there’s certainly traumatic options here, but even smaller less damaging experiences are hard to admit. peer pressure to do something not so wonderful, family crap, a less than attractive show of weakness, or just a really awkward phase… we all got ’em. it’s so easy to hide but it’s true.]

Truth #5: Mirror, Mirror. [if the same thing keeps happening to you, you are the common denominator. the world does not revolve around you. you are not the center of the universe. however, if your head keeps slamming up against the same brick wall – same fight, same girl, same guy, same problem – we all know that the universe has a lesson made just for you. pay attention and enjoy the spotlight for a moment because it’ll pass once you realize it’s true.]

Truth #6: Scaredy Cat. [we all fight fear an inordinate amount of the time. whether it’s death or the person next door who doesn’t look like you or the doctor or being vulnerable or feeling responsible or being accepted or cancer or war or walking alone in the dark. i despise fear and i fear people’s fear. a personal conundrum but it’s true.]

Truth #7: Swim Fan. [we all have obsessions and/or addictions. i believe it’s a human thing as we work it all out in this life. maybe it’s okay to obsess about at least one thing. it’s probably the thing we are best at. or… we will be eventually. or…we’ll be admitted to Passages Malibu but things will always get better. it’s true.]

Truth #8: Secret Agent. [you never really know a person. we all walk around with our friends and our siblings and our co-workers and our husbands and our children and we spend 100% of our time acting like we know these crazies. like because we’ve spent hours talking with them and sleeping with them and feeding them that we know them like no one else does. that is some delusional shit and incredible because it’s true.]

Truth #9: Fire Starter. [we have horrible thoughts sometimes. this one is really tough to admit. nobody wants to judge themselves at a core level of humanity, including me. but i admit, my thoughts have wandered down a dark path now and again. i figure all i can do is work on facing it and appreciate that i haven’t actually acted on any of those thoughts. it’s fucking hard being a good person, it’s true.]

Truth #10: Sleeping Beauty. [at times, we fake sleeping. everybody always talks about women faking all kinds of shit but what about the sleeping? we have all had a moment where we didn’t want the person coming to bed to know we were awake – for so many various reasons. and we all secretly also know that they know that we ain’t sleeping. let’s all keep doing it anyway just because it’s true.]

say no more.

February 17, 2012


10 ways to use eCards as a healthy form of expression:

1. how to say “maybe we should break-up.”

2. how to say “i’m really, truly sorry.”

3. how to say “i’ll admit, i’m not exactly perfect.”

4. how to say “congratulations on your engagement.”

5. how to say “i think i like you.”

6. how to say “you’re awesome.”

7. how to say “hope you feel better.”

8. how to say “you can do it.”

9. how to say “congratulations on having a baby.”

10. how to say “i love you.”