i can explain.

10 things we Rationalize:

1. addictions. [inner voice: we all need a vice. no one is perfect. there is a sadness felt for those who strive for the unattainable in life which we all know is a ruse. it’s just a cigarette. it’s just eating chalk. reality: that’s all you got? put the cancer stick down you crazy addict.]

2. things we don’t like about ourselves. [inner voice: this is just my personality. when you look at my parents, i actually turned out pretty great. i could have been real fucked up, but instead i have a few character flaws that drive a couple of people to tears. you can’t please everyone. reality: if i’m talking about it this much, i probably need to fix it.]

3. why they broke up with us. [inner voice: i know that it’s meant to be. i should feel lucky that she let me off the hook so early ~ before we got married and had kids and a mortgage and were really screwed. she never really appreciated me for who i am and it’s time for me to find someone who can and will. reality: you were ridiculously unhappy, had started sounding like a condescending parent while fighting, and it was over a long, long time ago.]

4. little white lies. [inner voice: what difference does it make in the long run? ignorance is bliss after all. will that fib i told about how much pizza i ate last week haunt me when i am on my deathbed? no. reality: why lie about anything? i am just deceiving myself more than anyone and since these are lies about nothing, that’s even weirder.]

5. toxic friends. [inner voice: i swear i can explain this. even the most toxic of friends teach me something every day. patience, that all people have flaws, the general human condition…it all has meaning and it’s important to see the bigger picture. don’t you dare think that i am lazy or avoiding confrontation or taking the easy way out. reality: you are lazy and avoiding confrontation and taking the easiest way out ever.]

6. buying things we don’t need. [inner voice: i work hard for my money. i am an adult and can make my own decisions about my priorities, material and non-material. who’s to say that an expensive emulsifier doesn’t make a person’s life more fulfilled? you? i need it. reality: if i want it, i should buy it. however, i am not allowed to complain to my friends about being broke next week.]

7. lack of will power. [inner voice: i would never want to blame everything on my parents so i’ll take responsibility for this one. but i do think it has to be a genetic thing. some people just have this natural willpower that i don’t. those people who can make it through the Master Cleanse for more than 5 days. perfect example. reality: your best friend can do the Master Cleanse for more than 10 days but she has been known to eat a pint of ice cream before bed. often. we choose what we care to complete.]

8. fear. [inner voice: when i was 7 i almost drowned in the lake by my house… my aunt died in a plane crash… i can’t think of a direct reason why i’d be afraid of choking but i read this awesome book on past lives… reality: the human brain needs fear to know when something is wrong. it’s not a weakness but a survival skill.]

9. non-personal communication. [inner voice: it seems like i don’t have time for anything anymore. i don’t have time to shower or cook or pet my animals. you see, life has become a sea of crap to do. don’t bother me with talking on the phone. send me a text, shoot me a FB comment, and we’re good. reality: i am now relying on the rapid progression of technology to avoid all human contact because i’ve always wanted to do that.]

10. love for a “bad” movie or book. [inner voice: i refuse to be pseudo-intellectual about everything and everyone. sometimes a little fluff can be a good thing. detune, turn your brain off, and just enjoy. it’s supposed to be “entertainment” after all ~ not studying for your LSATs. reality: if you love Twilight and The Jersey Shore it doesn’t make you a bad person or stupid. just admit it already and let people judge how they may.]