pack it in.

10 thoughts while packing for the next big move:

1. where the hell did i get that and why don’t i use it? [literally, no memory. socks, Halloween masks, candles, books, random objects in my desk, scarves…a flag?? good lord you would think i am a hoarder. and then, i finish moving, i unpack, i start cooking my first meal in my brand new kitchen…and i need a can opener. where’s the can opener? do i not own a can opener? fuck, i think i threw out the can opener. never the right amount of stuff.]
2. who am i going to talk to when i get home? [i have said it before; i love my alone time. it is precious to me. however, yay for a roommate! there is nothing like coming home to a friend who wants to hear how you are and laugh with you about the crazy shit you bumped into in the real world that day. no way i’m not going to miss that.]
3. why did i get rid of ALL of my furniture the last time? [did i really think that i could afford to buy everything all over again all at once? i think i temporarily lost my mind. temporarily. entirely.]
4. how long will it take for me to get to know my neighborhood? [you know that feeling… when you suddenly realize that you haven’t been paying attention to driving for 20 minutes and you know your neighborhood so well you feel that ever-so-dangerous autopilot mode kick in. going to try and enjoy those first few weeks of feeling lost and exploring all of the time.]
5. i wonder what the men are like in this neighborhood. [i am moving to a college neighborhood. so…lots of easy choices but uh-oh. this is no good. maybe i’ll stay in and extra enjoy my alone time for awhile.]
6. am i fucking crazy to do this? [everything is so, so comfortable. i live in a clean, beautiful home with a person who loves me and a safe neighborhood with hiking and bars. i’m living the American dream. and then, i keep thinking… my own space, my own stuff, my own me with nothing else to lean on… that’s beautiful too. gotta do this delightful thing, even if it’s crazy.]
7. what if i got rid of everything except my bed? [i was packing a wine glass i haven’t used in 3 years and “just a bed” came to mind. just a bed. that’s odd. or maybe a hammock. a hammock and some plants and that’s all. i think i’m brilliant.]
8. do i remember how to fix anything? [i’ve been living with a doer. a lady who looks at something broken and just…fixes it. not sure if this is genetic or taught, but i ducked and missed somewhere along the way and i just don’t have it. so curious to see if i remember how to do anything handy all by lonesome. adventure!]
9. will this be the last one in los angeles? [i cannot help but wonder. should i make a big red X on the calendar for every day i get to spend paying attention to me, myself and i? will this be the last time i get to treat and indulge in self care as we all should, or will this be my forever? the joy is actually found in the unknown, but i really am fond of asking the questions.]
10. why is bubble wrap so expensive? [dude. it’s ridiculous. is bubble wrap actually shit from a Prince’s gold filled ass? i just spent $22 on a noisy piece of plastic that will roll around approximately 9 water glasses. ugh.]