pack it in.

September 21, 2017

hammock plant

10 thoughts while packing for the next big move:

  1. where the hell did i get that and why don’t i use it? [literally, no memory. socks, Halloween masks, candles, books, random objects in my desk, scarves…a flag?? good lord you would think i am a hoarder. and then, i finish moving, i unpack, i start cooking my first meal in my brand new kitchen…and i need a can opener. where’s the can opener? do i not own a can opener? fuck, i think i threw out the can opener. never the right amount of stuff.]
  2. who am i going to talk to when i get home? [i have said it before; i love my alone time. it is precious to me. however, yay for a roommate! there is nothing like coming home to a friend who wants to hear how you are and laugh with you about the crazy shit you bumped into in the real world that day. no way i’m not going to miss that.]
  3. why did i get rid of ALL of my furniture the last time? [did i really think that i could afford to buy everything all over again all at once? i think i temporarily lost my mind. temporarily. entirely.]
  4. how long will it take for me to get to know my neighborhood? [you know that feeling… when you suddenly realize that you haven’t been paying attention to driving for 20 minutes and you know your neighborhood so well you feel that ever-so-dangerous autopilot mode kick in. going to try and enjoy those first few weeks of feeling lost and exploring all of the time.]
  5. i wonder what the men are like in this neighborhood. [i am moving to a college neighborhood. so…lots of easy choices but uh-oh. this is no good. maybe i’ll stay in and extra enjoy my alone time for awhile.]
  6. am i fucking crazy to do this? [everything is so, so comfortable. i live in a clean, beautiful home with a person who loves me and a safe neighborhood with hiking and bars. i’m living the American dream. and then, i keep thinking… my own space, my own stuff, my own me with nothing else to lean on… that’s beautiful too. gotta do this delightful thing, even if it’s crazy.]
  7. what if i got rid of everything except my bed? [i was packing a wine glass i haven’t used in 3 years and “just a bed” came to mind. just a bed. that’s odd. or maybe a hammock. a hammock and some plants and that’s all. i think i’m brilliant.]
  8. do i remember how to fix anything? [i’ve been living with a doer. a lady who looks at something broken and just…fixes it. not sure if this is genetic or taught, but i ducked and missed somewhere along the way and i just don’t have it. so curious to see if i remember how to do anything handy all by lonesome. adventure!]
  9. will this be the last one in los angeles? [i cannot help but wonder. should i make a big red X on the calendar for every day i get to spend paying attention to me, myself and i? will this be the last time i get to treat and indulge in self care as we all should, or will this be my forever? the joy is actually found in the unknown, but i really am fond of asking the questions.]
  10. why is bubble wrap so expensive? [dude. it’s ridiculous. is bubble wrap actually shit from a Prince’s gold filled ass? i just spent $22 on a noisy piece of plastic that will roll around approximately 9 water glasses. ugh.]

the happiest place

November 15, 2013


10 reasons every adult should appreciate Disneyland:

1. the best people watching ever. [my friends and i often come up with a theme for the people that are trending in Disney that day. there’s “are they a couple?” days, “cute or ugly kid” days, and my favorite – “mismatched body” days. that’s when people look like one half of their body doesn’t go with the other. better than LAX.]

2. you’re old enough and smart enough to strategize. [when i was a kid i was so excited to go on everything i remember just wanting to run from one thing to another, never thinking about lines or rest or bathroom breaks or food. 25 years later there’s serious strategy to enjoying the parks. plot your fast passes, move in the opposite direction of the crowd, and drink when all else fails. it makes an adult feel quite accomplished.]

3. there’s alcohol. [California Adventure serves alcohol. too many strollers? feeling like the crowds are a bit much? make a toast at the winery and focus on the fact that you’re not working.]

4. there’s food. [sure, you can still grab a corn dog or some cotton candy if that’s what your heart desires, but there’s also Carthay Circle. a full replica of a 1920’s theater with a pristine lounge, astounding martinis, and a pretty damn great rack of lamb. this ain’t your mama’s theme park.]

5. it’s for every season. [there’s water rides in the heat of summer, elaborate pumpkins and orange-lit trees at Halloween, and snow falling in the streets at Christmas. we may never be able to tell what season it is in Los Angeles unless we run down to Anaheim for the day.]

6. it’s a great way to spend a day off. [every time i come home from a day at Disney my feet and legs ache and i feel that wonderful exhaustion from a mixture of laughing, screaming, and endless walking. you can’t get all that from the gym or the couch.]

7. screaming is cathartic. [i’m not a huge screamer, but when i do it’s like driving a golf ball 300 yards. it’s nearly impossible to dwell over a bad work week while you’re in a swinging gondola 160 feet above water.]

8. hearing other people scream is cathartic. [one of my favorite moments is when i step into the Tower of Terror elevator and realize our car is full of people that are scared out of their minds. or have no idea what they are about to experience. when the elevator starts to shake right before it drops out from under you… and i know the people around me are going to scream bloody murder i can’t help but giggle.]

9. it’s so freaking clean. [i don’t know how they do it, but it’s better not to question. Disneyland isn’t only the happiest place on earth, it’s also the cleanest. you would think a kid would barf in the street or some teenagers would take markers to the bathroom stalls… yeah, better not to question.]

10. Ryan Gosling likes it. [yeah, yeah, i hear the groans but he really does love Disneyland. just admit it; the guy’s got taste in many things so we can trust him. plus i’m pretty sure he’s a full-fledged adult.]

ya’ll got me confused.

January 30, 2012

10 things that come to Mind when i think of the South:

1. the land & sea. [much like California, North Carolina is one of those rare gem states where you can go from mountains to ocean in 2.2 seconds. maybe more like 6 hours but you get the idea. love the Blue Ridge Parkway, miss the salty ocean air, crave the soft sand of pristine beaches, hate the drive from one to the other. but what a small price to pay.]

2. the astonishing food. [when i was a kid i thought everyone ate out 3 meals a day. come to find out my family does that because we live in a town with the freshest seafood on the east coast which also happens to be a beautiful resort area attracting some of the best chefs in the country. i learned how to boil water my freshman year of college.]

3. the thunderstorms. [i pine for thunderstorms in general, but there is something about the heat lightning and rain and thunder in the dead flush of summer on an open marina in the South that makes my toes curl in a good way.]

4. the vapidness of the people. [there are some Southerners who live by an extremely vapid motto: you are as successful and happy as your neighbors think you are. bonkers. i think it’s an “old South” thing ~ like being Republican or Baptist or racist and not even knowing why. thank god i was born in New Jersey.]

5. the integrity of the people. [if you can ignore the insane draaawl that makes your brain immediately assume the worst about a person & their intellect, you’ll realize there’s some damn fine people down South. they really do wave at you when you drive by; especially if you don’t know them. they really do have fabulous hospitality and smile a lot and make you feel cozy and welcome pretty much everywhere you go.]

6. the humidity. [do you enjoy sweating profusely as you step out of the shower? do you desire the feeling that the air entering your lungs has its own weight and mass? are you fascinated with flying roach-like bugs and mosquitoes that are capable of eating your small child? if you answered yes to any of these questions i probably went to high school with you and you never left.]

7. the charm. [if you have never lived in the South, parasols and white gloves may come to mind and there are parts of the South that still embrace those traditions. charming historic downtown homes & gardens you can tour surrounded by young women in pastel-colored hoop skirts. yep, i was one of them. shit did you really need to ask?]

8. the boredom. [this past December someone asked me if i would ever move back down South. i quickly responded “no.” maybe a little too quickly, cause they asked me why and the boredom factor was definitely at the top of the list. i don’t know what it is about the sleepy South that makes me so…sleepy but……..yawn…ugh. i have to be more productive than that.]

9. the bible. [when i was about 12 a friend of my parents asked me if i was baptized. i told her i didn’t think so ~ no. she then told me i was going to hell and couldn’t talk to me anymore. i cried. my parents said something nasty to her and stopped talking to her ~ i think. whatever, i have a terrible memory. all i know is it ain’t called the Bible Belt for nothing.]

10. the childhood memories. [short shorts & sand & tans & shrimp & azaleas & cheerleading & salty air & biscuits & fishing & running barefoot & terribly mean Southern girls & hurricanes & pig pickins’ & grits & Dawson’s Creek & first loves & James Taylor… bittersweet childhood memories. we all got ’em and mine apparently have a twang.]

Pick a City.

August 21, 2011

10 Places I’d Love to Live:

1. barcelona, spain. [half of my heritage is from Spain so i have a particular affinity towards this country for sure. when i was a mere 15 years old, i went to spain and lived there for the better part of a summer. it was a miserable experience of Spaniards who felt Americans were literally retarded – the exception being Barcelona. a city full of astounding architecture, art, culture and people who live life to its fullest. a sublime city]

2. bar harbor, maine. [inexpensive fresh lobster 24~7 and a village that wants to welcome everyone with open arms and a beer. there’s even a theater company that gets butts in the seats and doesn’t desecrate the words of playwrights everywhere. pure ecstasy.]

3. vancouver, canada. [the “emerald city.” breathtaking structures, mind blowing food, and free healthcare. you don’t have to lock your door and you certainly don’t have to worry about obtuse people not smiling back at you. dare you to play devil’s advocate.]

4. martha’s vineyard, massachusetts. [martha’s vineyard is an island lost in time. hitchhiking to get across the island is the norm for anyone under 25 and the people who call this haven their permanent home want nothing more than a garden of peace, quiet and love. i am positive i would inadvertently stop shaving if i lived there.]

5. napa valley, california. [spectacular vineyards and food that influences the menus of Michelin rated restaurants everywhere. if we could all rally and get california real estate prices to suddenly plummet…]

6. anywhere in the Netherlands. [windmills, beautiful people, fields of green with sheep wandering about. oh and there’s that damn free healthcare again. it’s hard to stay away from cities that grasp this concept.]

7. austin, texas. [a movement has been evolving in Austin. did you hear about it? youth at its best. people under 35 who are changing the face of entrepreneurship, music, culture, and community. your creativity would expand exponentially just by being in the vicinity for more than a month.]

8. kauai, hawaii. [one of my best friends spent her honeymoon here and i can’t stop dreaming about it ever since. i visualize a hike and a waterfall and me finding the answers to life after death in kauai.]

9. west village, new york. [i went to NYU and let me just say, it’s different now. i speak of this particular part of manhattan because it’s the one most evolved. families, niche restaurants, eclectic lounges and a modern boardwalk populate this small part of the island now and if it weren’t so goddamn overpriced i’d be there in a heartbeat.]

10. taos, new mexico. [my one true love. expansive skies that push your heart straight into the ground – in a good way. red clay hills juxtaposed with grassy knolls that reflect the sunlight. food that exceeds all other regions of the planet Earth. people that believe in the simple life but also embrace its complexities. i can hardly wait to discover my home there someday.]