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June 30, 2014


[Note of importance: My roommate and I are a bit…behind in our conquering of this tiny little show called Game of Thrones. We are working diligently to rectify this quickly. The other evening we decided to do a quick Google search due to our impatience with a certain character. We typed 6 letters into Google and our question popped up as the 2nd possible choice. Google’s algorithms fascinate me and have spurned me to make a list. Enjoy.]

5 amazing Google algorithms that have baffled myself and/or my friends:

1. what ep...does joffrey die

letters typed: 6.  magical telepathic answer: #2. [yes, Google, yes.]

2. is so...y gluten free_1

letters typed: 4.  magical telepathic answer: #4. [gotta ask when sushi is a priority.]

3. am i...pregnant

letters typed: 3.  correct answer: #2. [sometimes you just need to make sure.]

4. what is the le...ftovers about

letters typed: 11.  correct answer: #1. [interesting previews lead to interesting questions.]

5. is my...boyfriend gayletters typed: 4.  correct answer: #4. [again…just making sure.]




5 very odd Google algorithms that confound myself and/or my friends:

1. which d...ivergent fraction are you

letters typed: 6.  oddball answer: #4. [number 1 is kind of funny but number 4 means…what exactly?]

2. way downtown

letters typed: 6.  oddball answer: #4. [um…k.]

3. is h...he the one

letters typed: 3.  oddball answer: #3. [does Google really know?!]

4. why do g...uys get boners

letters typed: 6.  oddball answer: #2. [huh, i never thought that was confusing.]

5. when w...ill I die

letters typed: 5.  oddball answer: #3. [oh my, does Google know this too?]




5 mantras that are totally overrated.

1. Stay positive. [sometimes i hate Oprah. i remember a special she did once on being positive and i recall thinking there were several great things to take away from the episode. i believe in manifestation. i believe in keeping your thoughts and perspective light and positive because life is short. but when you tell me to “stay positive” after some psychopath killed a girl who didn’t want to go to the prom with him, i might just tell Oprah she can suck it.]

2. Never give up. [huh? sometimes what we are striving toward or dealing with isn’t the best thing for us and it simply takes us a little while to see it. when you realize that job or that living situation or that person isn’t doing you any favors guess what you should do?]

3. Time heals all wounds. [again, some truth, okay. we’ve all been burned and certainly as time passes things get a bit duller – wounds seem less fresh and we move on. but some wounds are going to leave a perfect pink scar – reminding us of where we’ve been, who we’ve loved and how bumpy the journey can be. i’ll show you mine if you show me yours.]

4. Tomorrow is another day. [yes, thank you, very wise, thank you. but what if i get hit by a semi tomorrow before my day even got started? just sayin.]

5. Don’t sweat the small stuff. [i sweat the small stuff. when something big happens i can be very zen and fully navigate the situation with grace. the small stuff like traffic and idiotic people and my annoying pets and my friend that totally misunderstood me and the ants that keep invading my house… these things make me sweat. and i think that makes me human.]

5 mantras that aren’t overrated.

1. Sometimes, simply by sitting, the soul collects wisdom. [the universe is sending me a sign. it’s called a “you need to start fucking meditating sign.” cause everywhere i go lately, it’s mentioned, recommended, lectured, gently advocated – directly to me. so i started sitting. thank you universe, my soul is starting to feel better already.]

2. In order to carry a positive action we must develop a positive vision. [as my cat meows at me in his loudest most abrasive kitty voice just outside our side door RIGHT NOW, i know i must turn this vision on its head. in order to not hit said kitty i must think “thank god my cat is alive and able to meow.” i think this about covers it.]

3. I will accept the things I cannot change. [i’m a go-with-the-flow kinda gal. not too controlling, willing to see another person’s point of view and even more willing to adopt it if it makes sense to me. but still… so difficult to remember when something isn’t going my way. a death-like grip and an insane stubbornness to try and change it might not be the answer. acceptance can be key. some things just… are.]

4. No matter what the situation, remind yourself “I have a choice.” [i had an acting coach – a good one actually – who used to always tell me my block or the issue i most had to overcome was playing the victim in my life. we all have choices. nobody wants to hear someone complain over and over about their situation and take zero action toward changing it. those people are really god damn irritating.]

5. Happiness is a continuation of happenings which are not resisted. [life is about flow. mindfulness and flow. yes, i might be meditating and i might just like it.]