the happiest place

November 15, 2013


10 reasons every adult should appreciate Disneyland:

1. the best people watching ever. [my friends and i often come up with a theme for the people that are trending in Disney that day. there’s “are they a couple?” days, “cute or ugly kid” days, and my favorite – “mismatched body” days. that’s when people look like one half of their body doesn’t go with the other. better than LAX.]

2. you’re old enough and smart enough to strategize. [when i was a kid i was so excited to go on everything i remember just wanting to run from one thing to another, never thinking about lines or rest or bathroom breaks or food. 25 years later there’s serious strategy to enjoying the parks. plot your fast passes, move in the opposite direction of the crowd, and drink when all else fails. it makes an adult feel quite accomplished.]

3. there’s alcohol. [California Adventure serves alcohol. too many strollers? feeling like the crowds are a bit much? make a toast at the winery and focus on the fact that you’re not working.]

4. there’s food. [sure, you can still grab a corn dog or some cotton candy if that’s what your heart desires, but there’s also Carthay Circle. a full replica of a 1920’s theater with a pristine lounge, astounding martinis, and a pretty damn great rack of lamb. this ain’t your mama’s theme park.]

5. it’s for every season. [there’s water rides in the heat of summer, elaborate pumpkins and orange-lit trees at Halloween, and snow falling in the streets at Christmas. we may never be able to tell what season it is in Los Angeles unless we run down to Anaheim for the day.]

6. it’s a great way to spend a day off. [every time i come home from a day at Disney my feet and legs ache and i feel that wonderful exhaustion from a mixture of laughing, screaming, and endless walking. you can’t get all that from the gym or the couch.]

7. screaming is cathartic. [i’m not a huge screamer, but when i do it’s like driving a golf ball 300 yards. it’s nearly impossible to dwell over a bad work week while you’re in a swinging gondola 160 feet above water.]

8. hearing other people scream is cathartic. [one of my favorite moments is when i step into the Tower of Terror elevator and realize our car is full of people that are scared out of their minds. or have no idea what they are about to experience. when the elevator starts to shake right before it drops out from under you… and i know the people around me are going to scream bloody murder i can’t help but giggle.]

9. it’s so freaking clean. [i don’t know how they do it, but it’s better not to question. Disneyland isn’t only the happiest place on earth, it’s also the cleanest. you would think a kid would barf in the street or some teenagers would take markers to the bathroom stalls… yeah, better not to question.]

10. Ryan Gosling likes it. [yeah, yeah, i hear the groans but he really does love Disneyland. just admit it; the guy’s got taste in many things so we can trust him. plus i’m pretty sure he’s a full-fledged adult.]