iKill u 4 it.

February 25, 2012

10 impressive Apps that make me Want an iPhone:

1. crash a wedding. [channel your dormant Owen Wilson by crashing the nuptials of a couple you’ve never met and probably wouldn’t even like. this app not only gives you wedding times and locations near you, but details about the bride and groom including how they met and where they’re from. you’ll have everything to be a professional crasher right at your fingertips! just remember rule #24 – If you get outed, leave calmly. Do not run. Crash Corsage]

2. food delivery to your gate. [a poll for Los Angelinos: how many times have you been sitting in LAX waiting to board your plane around 9:30pm and had the thought “why the fuck is everything in this airport closed already?!” well, app inventors must have experienced that moment a few times too because this little guy directs you to food places that deliver right to your gate. a pretty brilliant idea. now we just need to get National Security and a ton more airports on board. the world will be a better place. B4 You Board]

3. flirt in any language. [yes, i know there is something weirdly romantic about flirting with someone who you can’t communicate with, but if you do feel like actually getting to know them ~ or at the very least whispering sweet nothings in their beautiful Italian ear ~ this is the app for you. TripLingo]

4. no more hold time. [need to call Best Buy and talk to a customer representative about that warranty they’ll never honor? want to get through to customer service at AT&T but don’t have 9.8 hours to kill? open this app, select the company you want to speak with, and go do your hair or something. the customer service department will call you. ha. so there. Fast Customer]

5. music for any mood. [sometimes i like things that make me feel extremely lazy. this app categorizes all of your music by mood profile so whatever you “feel” like listening to should theoretically be on that playlist. select the mood you feel you are in at the moment and press play. bam. done. MoodAgent]

6. the evolution of breaking up. [curious as to why that lovely lady went out with you, acted like she had a fantastic time on your date, and has strategically ignored all text messages since? well now you might be able to find out why with an app that actually helps people learn from their breakups. Wot Went Wrong contacts the person who stopped seeing you and asks them for feedback about…well…”what went wrong.” personally, i can’t decide if this seems stalkerish or genius, but it’s definitely one or the other and both are fascinating. Wot Went Wrong]

7. animate your own photos. [you know those fun little animated .gif photos of a baby dancing or a tv character like Urkel making a funny face that your mom sends you in an email? well now it’s time to make your own. if anyone actually does this and thinks theirs is hilarious i want to see it. never be afraid to share. Cinemagram]

8. avoidance of The Hangover part XVI. [i am certainly not condoning behavior that warrants questioning what the hell happened last night…but hey, i think it’s happened to the best of us at one point or another. and wouldn’t it have been awesome if we could have had a map showing us every place we went so we didn’t feel shamefully in the dark the next day? now if they add a few literal “snapshots” of the evening then i could honestly say this will be my favorite one. Last Night]

9. location based dating. [forget the internet ~ be a truly spontaneous dater ~ or more accurately, instantaneous. you walk past a bookstore and see an interesting reading going on inside. want to pop in and take part? now you can use your phone to see if anyone in your neighborhood wants to join you. i am sure this kind of app lends itself to hookups a lot more than meaningful relationships, but you never know. your soulmate might be standing right behind you in line for that bagel. Blendr]

10. the app to make sure you don’t lose any of the apps. [it’s a case for your iPhone but it’s more like a hound dog wearing a Superman cape. this go-go-gadget item tracks where your phone is at all times, even when the phone itself is dead. it also comes with little tags that you can put on anything you tend to lose. now open the app and take a look at a nifty digital map showing you how many feet away and in what direction the tagged items are. oh and if the phone itself gets lost, the tags will beep at you until you find it. yeah this is some crazy-ass Minority Report shit. check it: Bikn]

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say no more.

February 17, 2012

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10 ways to use eCards as a healthy form of expression:

1. how to say “maybe we should break-up.”

2. how to say “i’m really, truly sorry.”

3. how to say “i’ll admit, i’m not exactly perfect.”

4. how to say “congratulations on your engagement.”

5. how to say “i think i like you.”

6. how to say “you’re awesome.”

7. how to say “hope you feel better.”

8. how to say “you can do it.”

9. how to say “congratulations on having a baby.”

10. how to say “i love you.”

l-o-v-e your Tuesday.

February 14, 2012

5 special things to do on Valentine’s Day if you are Single:

1. a concert. [this very special thing happens to be what i’m doing. Lauryn Hill with 2 other beautiful single ladies seems like Tuesday night heaven ~ Valentine’s Day or not.]

2. a cheesy movie with friends. [the Vow is currently in theaters. Rachel McAdams seems pretty cool and Gosling says she was an awesome girlfriend so, yeah. lots of crying and bad acting but sooooo fun.]

3. roller skating. [about a week ago i partook in this activity for the first time in at least 15 years so i suppose it’s on my mind. i went in with zero expectations and came out with a sore face from freaking smiling so much. yeah that’s right. i let my expert roller skating girlfriend hold my hand and drag me around that old school rink with a grin the size of Texas plastered to my face. you should definitely be bummed you missed it.]

4. the Underground Rebel Bingo Club. [it’s like Fight Club. but with bingo. no, i am not kidding. the first rule of the Rebel Bingo Club is you do not talk about the Rebel Bingo Club. i can’t tell you where it is. i can’t tell you what it is. i’m already in trouble for giving you this link:  www.rebelbingo.com]

5. a casino night. [grab some single friends and head to Vegas or Palm Springs people. even if you don’t love gambling, casinos are crazy and what better day of the year for some debauchery? cigars, entertainment, pretty people, fancy restaurants, a reason to dress up, clubs that make you feel 19 again…an adult amusement park in one enormous building.]

4 special things to do on Valentine’s Day if you are in a Relationship:

1. create your own drive-in @ home. [i have a backyard and if you do too, consider this: blankets and wine and food and candles laid out in the grass with a big ass projector hanging from a tree playing your favorite movie or an old classic you’ve never seen and pretending the two of you are in the backseat of something like a Ford Thunderbird. oops ~ watch the gear shift.]

2. favorite food night. [why not call the moms and get the recipes for those favorite dishes that made you run home right after school? cook these for one another and then hire a maid to do the dishes while you head out back to the drive-in.]

3. rent an RV for the night. [i know there are luxurious hotels everywhere you look, but jumping into an RV and camping out for the night sounds way more interesting. a beautiful night with stars and campfires but no collapsing tents or rock-hard sleeping surfaces. find a spot near the ocean {Malibu Creek} or the mountains {Lake Arrowhead}, throw some steaks on the grill, and dive right into the champagne.]

4. sappy serenading karaoke. [these karaoke places have to be slower on February 14th right? i would hope so because then you can sing crappy love songs to one another without having to wait. plus there won’t be hundreds of onlookers pissed you aren’t singing something upbeat because it’s Heart Day after all. take advantage of the one day of the year they’ll actually understand.]

1 special thing to do on Valentine’s Day no matter what your Relationship status:

1. balls to the wall. [no matter what, go full force. fuck it. if you are on roller skates with a girlfriend, laugh so hard you fall ’til you’re bruised. if you are laying in the backyard watching a movie, make sure the person lying next to you knows that this is the only place you’d ever want to be. if you are alone at home sipping scotch, eating pizza, and watching reality television don’t waste a second feeling guilty. ’cause sure enough ~ at any moment ~ someone could waltz right into your life and change all that me time forever. whatever you’re doing, make it count and love your Tuesday.]