wild at heart.

November 21, 2011

10 things i appreciate about Animals {other than humans}:

1. no rush. [the image of this family of snails above inspired me a bit, but when you think about it all animals besides ourselves move at a pretty purposeful pace. unless there is prey to catch or a predator to avoid, there ain’t no rush in the animal kingdom and that seems damn smart to me.]

2. life in the nude. [i kind of want to run around in public naked. in the summer mostly. or when it’s raining. and with everyone else naked too. so yes, i have some stipulations but doesn’t it sound so fun?]

3. subtle understanding. [i love watching animals with newborn babies. claws get tucked into paws, tails and ears relax, and more often than not, some attempts at cuddling ensue. there’s nothing like animal intuition, and yet i’m still pleasantly surprised every time my pets lay on my chest to tell me it’s okay before i even knew something was wrong.]

4. they let it go. [not sure if it’s short-term memory or the ability to just let go of the little things, but animals don’t seem to understand the word “grudge.” my definition of that word is “inevitable waste of time” so i think the animals are onto something.]

5. no judgement. [i’ll admit that i have a cat sitting on my desk right now staring me down as if he knows every bad thing i’ve ever done and every bad thought i’ve ever had. but maybe that’s just my reading of his pompous little kitty whiskers swaying from side to side. honestly, my gut says they could care less and judgements aren’t a primal instinct or priority.]

6. so human. [at the end of the day, animal lovers know that we connect over similarities, not differences. animals play, fight, protect, bond, kill, and love. sounds familiar to me.]

7. naturally in-tune. [there’s no sleepwalking through life for animals. i am so tired and frustrated with humans abusing precious time by living half of their lives asleep in a cubicle or in traffic. animals live in the moment every time and make The Power of Now look like a children’s book.]

8. efficiency. [mating is purely for procreation. hunting is purely for survival. sleeping is purely for rest. noise is purely for communication. simple, uncomplicated, natural, unvarnished. we’re the only ones good at fucking most of it up.]

9. short lives still have meaning. [a typical male ant lives for about 21 days. dragonflies enjoy a good 4 months. the Gastrotrich has a life span of exactly 3 days. between the 3 of them we’ve made some babies, gotten rid of plenty of pesky mosquitoes, and fed a whale. more than i did in the last 4 months and 24 days.]

10. unlimited loyalty. [March of the Penguins comes to mind first but i am sure a random hour or two of NatGeo would exemplify it just as well. mating and monogamy may not always be the norm in the wild, but it’s clear that most animals fight for one another without a second thought. we could all use some of that bonding right about now.]

get some balls.

November 13, 2011

10 Reasons why a Girl should watch Sports:

1. competitive spirit. [there must be some women out there with this innate disposition but i have never been one of them. i’ve been enjoying football for 7 years now and have steadily increased my appetite for winning at games such as fantasy fb and golf. after 2 more decades of watching football it’s going to be cut throat.]

2. the fans. [we all love to be a part of something larger than ourselves. seems a lot of girls don’t realize there is a whole community of people for every sports team that will literally take you in and feed you and love if you are wearing the right jersey. i am quite comforted knowing i have hundreds of family members who love cheese, brats, beer and the color green.]

3. quality time. [i am one of those girls who has just as many guy friends as girl friends. i like boys. with all of our differences i often have more fun with people of the opposite sex, but especially during a game. not too much talking, not too much crazy debauchery. just nice to be able to do something with my best guy friends that doesn’t take either of us out of our comfort zone.]

4. get your flirt on. [it’s pretty hot to hear a girl say “did you see that 2 point conversion in the last 6 seconds of the game?” or “can you believe i benched Denarius Moore this week when he had over 20 points?” hotttttt. is it just me?]

5. mix up the celebrity crushes. [it’s really no good to just fantasize about actors & musicians. those people are narcissistic and pretty much all the same. why not mix it up with some men who are over 6’5″, covered in tattoos, and could pick you up with one hand?]

6. an excuse to eat whatever you want. [let’s face it: if you order a salad and diet coke while watching a football game in a bar you might as well just go home. beer only goes well with food that might give you a coronary and i’ll throw caution to the wind any given Sunday.]

7. betting. [i like poker and Vegas but i have found a new love: betting on sports and fantasy football. some might find this to be a waste of time, but then again there are idiots out there that feel blogging or painting or creating anything is a waste of time. to each his own and putting my $60 in the fantasy pool and $100 on the Packers to win is mine.]

8. the rush of a live game. [you know that feeling when a concert is about to start and the headlining band is just walking onto the stage and thousands of people simultaneously begin to scream and maybe hold things up and the energy crashes over your entire body in waves that feel like surges of electricity and you are totally and completely intoxicated? that’s every live football game ever.]

9. more dating convo. [this isn’t really a great reason and i have dated plenty of incredible men who have never watched a sport in their life, but i want to include it cause it could happen. dating in a city like Los Angeles can be frustrating to say the least. might as well stock up on conversation topics for the 1 out of 3 dates which is guaranteed to be awkward and not going so well.]

10. umm…they’re fun. [why does anyone like anything? i’ve met people who say they don’t like movies and i honestly can’t believe they are human. all i know is that football brings a great big smile to my face for 5 months out of every year. Sundays & Mondays and especially Thanksgiving and Christmas just wouldn’t be the same for me without it. if you don’t feel the same way i am pretty sure we can still be great friends…every other day of the week.]

“I {kind of} Do.”

November 8, 2011

5 Reasons I’ll Probably never get Remarried:

1. the idea of it. [i long for rebellion. since i was a child it is in my nature to make the grades & never skip school, always give 110%, and basically follow all the rules. although this is my genetic makeup, my heart often wishes it could be different and i yearn for rebellion as if it’s a long lost summer love. why do we all have to do it the same way? at times, i am confident that marriage is an unnatural societal construct and ultimately, just a piece of paper.]

2. children. [this is an addendum to #1. my main goal as a future parent is to be the best role model i can be. live by example and live as if you’ve got one shot at it. this said, how awesome would it be to show my kids that mommy and daddy are totally, irrevocably in love and that marriage isn’t a necessity for everyone? i want my children to embrace that they have one short life to live and to do whatever works best for them while they’re living it.]

3. money. [oh my god do i love how my money is my own again. and yes, i was the one who pushed and pushed for a joint account. my bad. there really is something so wonderful about knowing that what you earn and save and spend and throw away is yours to do that with and yours alone. i don’t ever want to let that go again.]

4. family. [my family has been to my wedding and it was beautiful. it was, in some ways, the wedding of my dreams and i think my family would agree there are no regrets. life is a journey and an expensive wedding was part of ours. we all laughed and stuffed our faces and drank and were merry and i am not sure we need to do any of that a second time.]

5. i am a romantic. [actually the word sap might be more like it and for me, part of that definition includes believing that you only get married once. crazy in this day in age, i know, but i believe that the love of my life is out there and that he may be just as romantic a person as myself. in my imagination, we both will agree that we’ll have to come up with something different because being husband #2 just doesn’t sound very romantic to either of us.]

5 Reasons I’ll Probably get Remarried:

1. the idea of it. [there are several things about marriage that i admire and look forward to. heck, why do you think i got married the first time? the thought of being legally and honorably bound to someone who wants to be your teammate through life is pretty awesome and kind of makes me forget about dirty socks and farting and sharing money and all the rest of it.]

2. children. [sometimes children with married parents do pretty well i think. i mean, we’re all fucked up and there are kids that still suffer over their parents’ divorce from 30 years ago. there are children that have a loving and unbroken home who are addicted to heroine. god knows. however, there is something to be said for a legal document that makes everything a little bit easier for the kids when life has its ups and downs, big and small. talk to any gay couple with children and i bet they’ll be happy to assist with a dissertation.]

3. money. [those damn tax breaks are pretty amazing. no, seriously, i would never get remarried for this reason but there are some lovely financial perks that act as the sweetest icing on the cake. shared bills, taxes, two incomes making it possible to build a future. when two people in love figure out how to make the money part run like clockwork, it’s truly a work of art.]

4. family. [i think every family loves a great wedding. even if it’s not the first, weddings are in some ways the best family affair. drunken toasts that no one can or will forget, families combining and growing into villages, everyone gathered in one place at one time for a reason that makes everyone forget their crap and simply smile.]

5. i am a romantic. [the real reason: i still believe in love. it’s been an interesting year but at the core of me i still daydream about forever committing to someone’s quirks and knowing they are just as passionate about mine. a song i used to listen to in college says “learn to pretend there’s more than love that matters.” most of the time i really don’t want to.]


November 4, 2011

10 quirky things about a generally non-quirky girl:

1. my hair. [i have this strange thing about my hair, which to this day no hairdresser has truly diagnosed. basically 1 out of every 20 strands of my hair is kinky and in a zig zag pattern. i mean crimped as if some microscopic elf took a crimping iron to a few pieces of my hair while i was napping. i spend lots of time looking for these rare strands and playing with them when i am bored.]

2. i like math and i am creative. [nothing makes me happier than figuring out a math problem or completing a complicated bookkeeping project. i also went to a Conservatory of the Arts for Drama, write a blog and know my life would be much more complete if spent on a movie set. i am still waiting for the two parts of my brain to meet perfectly in the middle.]

3. i skip showers. [i used to hate admitting this but honestly, it’s just a quirky thing about myself i have learned to accept. there has to be a reason or an urge to get me in the shower. like a first date or a sweaty workout. hey, my skin and hair are better off for it and i shower when i need to. so there.]

4. i love Q-tips. [i have to use Q-tips every single day. if i go on a trip and forget to bring them, i will take a cab to find a convenient store in the middle of the night or raid my friend’s medicine cabinet like a drug addict. i am indeed addicted to that little bit of soft cotton swirling around my ear.]

5. sometimes i see a visual of what people are saying. [this is probably from years spent transcribing what people say on reality shows. every once in a while you’ll be talking to me and i am totally listening and interested and really in it and then i notice your words appear across your forehead like a scrolling marquee in Times Square. thanks E! Entertainment.]

6. i sleep in one tiny spot of a huge bed. [i have a California king bed, i’m 5’2″ tall, and i live alone. the size of my bed is amazing and there isn’t a moment that i don’t appreciate it for all its worth. every evening i look at it and sigh and can’t wait to crawl in. i turn back the covers, slide into my little piece on the right side, go to sleep and wake up in the exact same place. there’s a country called the left side of my bed that i’d love to visit someday.]

7. i can’t stand biting a fork. [the texture and sound and feel of my teeth chomping down on a fork…oh my god i am freaking out just thinking about it. oy. i tried to talk about it and i just can’t. my apologies.]

8. i am really unhappy without avocado on my sandwiches & salads. [if i am ordering a sandwich or salad somewhere and they have run out of avocado it ruins my lunch. i am totally serious. i’ll still get the damn thing and begrudgingly eat it and continue on with my life, but my lunch and my day are pretty much ruined. i kind of need avocados to breathe.]

9. i will always wait until the last second to fill my gas tank. [since the age of 16, when all poor parents must release their children out onto the highways of the world, i refuse to put gas in my tank unless it is 99.9% empty. okay, maybe there is an exception to this rule on a long road trip or something. but in daily life the car must be about to putter to a stop before i pull into a gas station. no idea.]

10. i only write reminders on Post-Its. [i find myself making lists and reminders more and more often as i get older and i take on more jobs and clients and bills and all sorts of life crap. the quirky thing is i cannot and absolutely will not make a note of anything unless it’s on a Post-It. the few times i’ve veered from this pattern i completely forgot the reminder so apparently Post-Its are the only thing holding it all together.]